7/14

So, just so y'all know this post is pretty freaking Emo, but I was inspired to do this by another person's blog which is made up of letters to her dead mother.

07/14/2008

Dear Mom,

So, today it has been ten years since you died. Yes, I am still as blunt as ever. I do miss you and always have, although I will admit that I feel it more now that grandma is gone too. I was reflecting on how much life happens in a ten-year period of time, and remebering all the times I missed you during big events in my life, and the little ones too. God has been amazing and has placed people in my life who are there for me and are like my family. So I decided to make a list of things that have happened that I wish I could've shared with you. (yes I still make lots of lists for fun)
Since July 14th 1998 I...
was a member of the Varsity Track team in high school, that is something I bet you never saw coming! Was cast as Ma Gibbs in Our Town but didn't get to finish the play due to grades...
I did actually graduate from high school, although I know you worried for a while.
I went to Harbor College and graduated although it did take me 3 years longer than it should have.
Have worked at 3 main jobs Target, as a Nanny for a lady at church (you guys would've been good friends, your senses of humor are similar)and I work at a library now, they were good experiences all of them. Got fired from one of them, but even that ended up working for good.
My groups of friends have changed a few times, but I know you would like my current friends. They look out for me and treat me good. They are real friends, something I know you always wanted for me. There are a couple people I wish you could meet because they mean the world to me, and it just feels wrong sometimes to know that they will never have met you.
I finally forgave dad, and the last thing I said to him was I Love You, I really am glad because I don't think I could bear it if I hadn't told him before he died.
There are somethings that always make me think of you, like daffodils, apple dumplings like we had that one summer, sloppy joes made with ketchup, cow candles especially if they have big pink lips, Star Trek and Santa Claus.
I got to go to Disneyworld a few years ago, and it was amazing. I have also been to Hawaii and am leaving to go to Russia and Scandinavia next week. I know that is a totallyt new thing and nothing I ever aspired to when I was younger, but it is an exciting thing I wish I could share with you. I am kind of freaked out, but I know it'll be a good time. I still might get to the pyramids some day.
I finally quit wearing that green dress.
I am on the Dean's List and am going to graduate with honor's this school year, yes I know you are shocked and amazed but I know you would be proud of me.
I miss grandma a lot more than I ever thought possible, which is kind of wierd because you were very right about how much we would disagree with each other and drive each other crazy.
I have a real relationship with God now and I now get the whole concept. Pastor John told me that you used to pray that I would come to a place where it was a real relationship, and I now understand why. He also told me that you used to pray that God would use me to do big things. Thank you for praying for me even though I didn't know it until recently.

There is so much more I would love to share with you over cups of tea and jiffy muffins, but this blog will have to do for now. I love you and miss you always,

Stacey Louise