I'm Baaack!

Although, since I took my computer with me I never really left!

So... A bit about the retreat...

I went expecting good things and even then my wildest expectations were exceeded.

First some background...
I went up there sick, like hacking my lungs out and just feeling pretty miserable.
I however was really psyched because I totally had the whole "mountaintop experience" remnant left from wintercamp last week.

What I wasn't expecting was for God to flip my worldview again for the second time in a week!

On Wednesday night my church held its annual business meeting, and our pastor shared that he was not going to preach the funural of our church. I did not know this at the time I went to the retreat because I only attended the meeting long enough to vote because I work with the youth and was in with them. Long story short...(too late!) I had no clue just how bad things at church were until our pastors wife just shared the burdens on her heart about the whole situation.

At this point my heart broke, because I had left the same retreat two years ago having prayed for direction about which church to attend, having got an answer from God to stay in this same church, and then left within a month of the retreat. I had walked away in knowing disobedience, and yet God, who loves me was faithful to place me back where I belong. All weekend long I had been drawn to the verses of Isaiah 51, especially verse 11.
"The ransomed of the LORD will return.
They will enter Zion with singing;
everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
and sorrow and sighing will flee away."
and I finally understood why. We lifted our pastor's wife up in prayer and as a group of women prayed for the future and life of our church. I believe for a healing and restoration at my church and the beginnings of a revival that will shake not only our church, but also our community, and the very world in which we live.

For some reason the concept of pruning has been coming to me in my devotional times, the fact that without the removal of dead or excess branches, new growth will be choked out. I don't know if that is a word just for me or if it is for others, but I am believing that after a period of pruning, a great blossoming will occur.

At the retreat, as I mentioned I was ill. I was out of it for the first two sessions, then after Saturday morning session I shared with someone that I was feeling attacked (illness, a bad week coming up to the retreat, ect) and her and another friend told me/dragged me forward for prayer. I didn't really feel that I wanted to bother the speaker (Tammy) with my measley little prayer request, but it was "God appointment time" Before she even knew why I was coming up for prayer she shared with me that the night before, during worship she had seen a lion guarding me from the attacks of the enemy and saying no more. I was like wow, I am up here because I am feeling attacked. So we prayed.

Then later I took some time to be away from everything and I was like well if I was being protected the night before, what was up with the morning, why was I feeling so oppressed. And I realized something, there have been times throughout the last year when I felt like if anything else would go wrong I would die (literally). And I just couldn't take anything else. As I was sitting there in the courtyard I realized that I am in a time of protection so that I can prepare to enter battle. I am being protected so that I can build up my faith, and "gird my loins" and that one day soon I am heading out to the front lines. There are still going to be stray bullets coming at me, but I am away from the cannon fire so I can better prepare to fight the upcoming battles.


Lord, I just want to lift up my church, Father, I ask that a new breath of life be upon its people. Prune doubt, envy, bitterness, and discord from our branches so that new growth will occur. Bless our Pastors and Staff, Lord. Give them daily encouragement and strength to face their battles. Lord, help me to be a value to this church, not a hindrance. I thank you for the work I know you will do, Amen.