The soundtrack to my heart lately...

Is an awful lot of Jeff Deyo Songs.

I am trying to juggle all of my conflicting thoughts and emotions into a sensible post because I can feel the pressure building and I know if I can't get them all out soon, I will explode into a gooey mess of emotastic-ness. I've been having weird trippy dreams that are so vivid that I can't shake them after I wake up, I am getting ready to go into a schedule overload and I really don't want to. There are things I need to get out, but can't because I don't want to hurt those I love. I really, really need a hug, and not just a hello hug, but don't like being touched by most people. And even if I was hugged I would probably collapse into a puddle and that's the last thing I want...

I know that the next few months are going to be a challenge and a struggle, but I also know that God would never ask me to do anything I was incapable of. If nothing else, I can already declare that these upcoming days are going to require me to rely on God more than ever before. This is both exciting and frightening.

Aaaarrrrrgggghhhh!

I wish I has a depressurization button somewhere!

Lyrics Running through my head...

"You are God
You command the oceans
You ride on the heavens
You restore my soul"

"Together we will seek You
Forever we will praise You
You are the Father of our hearts"

"There's not one thing
That means as much to me as
You my God, as You my King"

"Here in the darkness
I lift my eyes to You
Your light comes shining through"

"Master, be my Savior
Be my shelter, be my God"

"Here in this silence
I hear You speak my name
And I cry out to You"

"Unveil my eyes
So I can know You’re here
You’re here"

"Your love, it overtakes me
And makes me who I am
As I am undone
In light of Your glory"

"Take apart this world
That I have made
Make this heart aware
Of more than me
Reveal to me the depths
Of who You are
And come and teach me like a child
To trust Your heart"

"Saturate my life,
Fill every part of me with You
Drown me in Your love,
Let me lose myself in You."

"I gladly come to You,
I want no place to hide
I'm pouring out my heart
To give You room."

"Welcome sweet Spirit
Come stir me with Your fire
Whisper Your secrets
Your deepest hearts desire"

"I will obey
I will be true
I will be poured out
Just for You"

"Fill me with Your purpose
Place Your Kingdom in my heart
Let Your Holy Spirit
Fall on me"

And not Jeff Deyo but also in my head...

"Open up the sky
Fall down like rain
We don't want blessings
We want you"