It was a dark and stormy night...

It's been a while since I blogged. I wish I could say it has been because I was super busy, but that would not be super accurate.

Starting last Saturday, I had another mental health "episode". Pretty bad, and not fun at all. I talked to my therapist on Monday and we decided that I should probably not wait two weeks for another visit, so I go back Monday. (yesterday)

I felt horrible enough by Wednesday that I made an appointment with my doctor (the medical one) to discuss if any of the medications I was on were contributing to the funk. This was set for Friday morning. Shortly after I made my appointment for Friday, my favorite person informed me that he was feeling ill enough to go to the doctor himself, so back we go. We both go to the same clinic, although we don't necessarily see the same doctor. So we got him seen, they give him a prescription and send him home to recuperate. I, meanwhile finally after many weeks head over to my first physical therapy appointment. That goes fairly well, although I am told not to do anything that will inflame my shoulder even more. That gets finished and then I get everyone sorted and go to dinner with my friend. Thursday, I carry a route. My shoulder doesn't like this. Friday morning, I meet with my doctor, I ask about meds, he inquires why I am asking. I tell him and then I just bleurgh everything out at him. He asks a bajilliony questions, and decides that I may not get along with one of my meds. Because of the potential for cardiac side effects with this drug, an EKG gets ordered. My EKG is apparently good and I am told I can "take that one to the bank" We reduce the suspected med with the intention of eliminating it from my routine, but we have to step down gradually. We set up a plan and he informs me that between the advice of the physical therapist and with all of my stupid shoulder issues, it might be good to take a break from work, but that if they can provide me with light duty I can work. I just am not supposed to lift anything with the left arm, pending re-evaluation on Wednesday. We do all of the ridiculous paperwork for that to happen, and he sends me on my way.

We hope that with the removal of the problem drug, I will be less prone to the depressive episodes. They got scary bad this time. I was convinced by both my doctor and my therapist that I should share with someone what all was going on. Because he is my safe place, I of course told Eric. He responded perfectly and has been fantastically supportive. There are many reasons I love him, but his handling of this situation has reminded me of many that are easy to forget. I am supposed to reach out to people when I need help, and I have a list and an action plan if it gets really bad again. Hopefully, it is mostly the pill causing problems and they'll lessen as it works its way out of my system (could take up to a month for that to happen though)

My friends have been great at keeping me distracted, and I appreciate them greatly for this. I also appreciate all of my farther friends that have sent me notes or messages telling me that they are thinking of me and praying for me. They are much appreciated..

I went back to therapy yesterday, and we continued working on my issues. One problem that I have been having lately has been compulsively eating things I know I shouldn't. My therapist and I are discussing alternate behaviors to do when I feel the urge to stuff myself with cookies and so forth. My doctor actually said that he isn't as worried about the eating right now as he is other things. He said we know that I generally have good control over the eating and that I am able to control my blood sugar for the most part. And that will return once we get my brain chemicals balanced out again.

I go back for a reevaluation of my shoulder tomorrow, and then we'll find out if I go back to carrying mail, or give it another few weeks to heal. My next physical therapy is Friday. And one of my friends is supposed to stay with me Wednesday night and we are going to make chicken gloop for dinner (chicken, zucchini, stuffing, and a creamy sauce all cooked in the crock pot) Yum!