word vomit

The last few days have been pretty good. I will admit, I have become unused to having multiple good days in a row, so this is a lovely change of pace.

On Monday, I didn't work and didn't really have anything I absolutely had to do, until therapy. I took myself out to lunch, got a small serving of FroYo as a treat, went to Dollar Tree, and then headed over to therapy. I knew it was going to be one of my less "fun" therapy sessions, although it didn't go quite as badly as I anticipated. We discussed general life stuff, how and why the results of my shoulder xray bothered me so much, my career frustrations and going back to grad school. I am clearly the most excited about the last part.

I've always been one to declare that I try not to have too many secrets, because if you are open about things, then people have less information they can use to hurt you. But, that being said, I still have things I HATE talking about. But I am sharing one of these things with my blog readers, a)to get it out of my system b)one less secret to worry about. Also, I pretty much have already told anyone who should hear this straight from me already.

My shoulder injury that happened a long time ago? Evidence of the year or so I spent living in an abusive household. There is a reason I have no tolerance towards abusers, and that's because I have been abused. I hate admitting it, and I hate even more that there is now some permanent mark of it on my body. Agreeably, it isn't one you can see easily, but the fact that I know it is there, was really messing with my head. I have a few long term mental scars from that time, but I am usually able to go about my business pretending it didn't happen. When the untreated shoulder break was discovered by an xray, it became something that I had to think about for a few days. I am trying to work on some of the mental scars in therapy, and that will help me cope with the fact that there is a physical mark on me.

I talked about it with my therapist, and we had a good conversation about how it made and makes me feel to this day. I love that I have a safe place to discuss stuff, that I don't really want to tell anyone that knows me in real life.

I did tell one of my very good friends and she has been incredibly supportive and understanding. I adore her, and am glad I found a good friend up here.

After therapy, I went to the chiropractor for the first time. My back hates my job. It frequently complains at me when I am casing, and I decided to actually go see a chiropractor about it. (It helps that my insurance covers up to ten visits a year)

I went to Eric's chiropractor and they were not only super helpful, but able to get me in same day.  I have been adjusted and go back on Friday to reassess the situation. Anything that helps at this point.

After that, Eric and I had a nice dinner together at the Mexican place by my house that has a diabetic friendly meal that I honestly really like. We also had a coupon. After I drove Eric home I had a few minutes where I was just super contented, and although I hate to admit it, I had forgotten what that feels like.

Yesterday, I worked on my assigned route, casing to finish all by myself and made my "back by dark" deadline. It wasn't a super heavy day, but I did it all by myself. After work, I made pesto cream papardelle with chicken for dinner. It was pretty amazing if I do say so myself. I had invited people over so I wouldn't be tempted to eat the whole meal by myself. After dinner my friend and I drove Eric home, then went to Walmart, where a futon was purchased, stuffed into a tiny Prius and dragged to my house. She built the futon with little more than some helpful hints from me (and much laughing because she doesn't have a lot of experience with building things IKEA style) and a few pointers from my friend staying with me. Then after a few hours of laughing and a finally completed futon, we all headed to our beds for sleep. It was an early morning for everyone in the house, with early doctor's appointments, and work for everyone here.

Before our early appointments, my friend and I went out to breakfast. I had all sorts of yummy things that I usually try to avoid, but apparently my blood sugar has been in a good place for a few days, or I may have hopefully found a system that works for me. I had pasta and candy last night and my blood sugar was good this morning. I had hashbrowns, toast, and a pancake this morning and I checked my blood sugar this afternoon and it is still within 10 points of this morning's reading. I ate other things at these meals, but those are the carby things I ate. I am liking the flexibility that having good readings is giving me.

My appointment went well, and so did my friends', it has been a process to get everything taken care of, but I think today has been extraordinarily helpful in moving in the right direction.

After appointment one I checked in with my boss who I told I would check on because there was a communication breakdown somewhere and he didn't know I was unavailable to work today until 6pm last night. But he found someone to cover the route, and all is well. After discovering that I didn't need to go to work, and before appointment number 2, we got coffee (Sugar Free Iced Vanilla Latte), made a trip to the grocery store where many packages of cookies were bought in an attempt to score some free milk (the Red Velvet Oreos are pretty good, but very sweet) visited my friend's uncle and his puglets, went to my friend's house where I got to meet her chickens, stopped for more coffee again at this little coffee shack that is delicious (I got a sugar free raspberry Italian Cream soda mmmm) and headed back to my house before all before the second appointment.

Now I am sitting in my freezing apartment (I caved and turned on the heater) talking with my friend who just came over, and that is it for today. I need to figure out dinner.