God, Star Trek, Sexual Harassment, and Historians

It always amazes me that the right people are there at the right time.

After a few of the rougher weeks of my life, I am overwhelmingly joyful that I can report on having had, basically a really good week.

Today I went to a pre-employment workshop where we were told not to sexually harrass people, don't do drugs, and don't try to fraud the worker's comp system. And I had totally forgotten to take my social security card with me...But I did have my passport with me and was able to use that instead.

I really liked the Star Trek movie we watched last night at Sarah's house. The others didn't like it because it was "new agey" and yes it was, but it showed how easily people can be decieved by a false God and then end up on a path that does not lead them to God (like they believe) but instead leads them to destruction. It also showed that people traveling the wrong path believe truly that they are on the right one. But then Captain Kirk questions the unknown god pretending entity, and finds that the entity is not divine "What does God need with a starship?" and it is a really good question. God doesn't need a starship. And while I think that deciding that God exists within the human heart is a little too humanistic, it also goes with all of the cardiac residential allegories that we as Christians tend to use. (Did you invite Jesus into your heart?)

I just got my first issue of The Historian which is the academic journal published by the Phi Alpha Theta honor society. It made me feel like a grown up historian! As an undergraduate student, I often feel like a child (or more often toddler) in my field. It is very strange to realize that I am getting to at the very least late childhood in my historical aging process. I will have to become more and more independent in my research from here on out.

I have gotten a bunch of responses from my comment on the fact that I believe just taking off and traveling the world is an unwise decision. I totally believe that it is an unwise decision FOR ME at THIS TIME. I want to do other things too. I want to finish school and start my career, I have my ministries that I am involved in. I have friends and family whom I would miss if I just took off. Yes, I know that amazing things happen when you travel, that is one of the reasons why I love to do it. But I believe that I will have more time to travel in the future. So for now, I'll stick to my 6 countries I am visiting this summer and maybe plan for another trip next year.

I am going to be gone for 4th of July. Denise and I are going up to my aunt's house for a short visit. I promised I would visit and with the 4th being a 3 day weekend it seems like a good time. We are taking the train. I have never taken a train before so it should be pretty fun. The trip still takes about the same time, but since I hate driving and get especially sleepy around Bakersfield (it is like the poppy fields in WIzard of Oz...)I am glad to be taking the train.

Saturday Night/Sunday Morning Prayer was AMAZING! Just in case there was any doubt in anyone's mind!

Well, other than the fact that I am craving froyo and chinese food, I really have nothing else to report...

More details as events warrant....

Explosion of Thought

There are so many things I want to do, but I often wonder if or when or even sometimes should I do them...

I want to get my Ph.D. but I wonder if I am "supposed" to do that , if it is my purpose. I also worry that I am just not smart enough, skilled enough, dedicated enough, ect and that I am going to start yet another thing and not finish it.

I want to travel the world, and am currently in a position that I could feasibly do so with some careful planning. But I ask myself is it a wise choice? and I say probably not...

All of my life I have put off doing things because I have had responsibitites to people other than myself. Now I don't. I am only responsible to myself and obviously to God. But as an adult, which I have reluctantly acknowledged that I am, indeed an adult, being responsible to myself requires that I make wise decisions for myself. So, no I can't buy things that I want just because I can, I can't help everybody who I want to, I can't just take off and travel around the world...

I have been a Christian for a little more than 10 years, but most of my growth has been during the last 6 months, I was a different person when I got saved, but am so much more different now that I don't even recognize the me of six months ago let alone more than 10 years ago... Sometimes the changes are scary even though they are definitely for the better.

I am more comfortable with myself now. For the longest time I was always worried about what other people thought about me. Not so much anymore. I still do sometimes and it is one of those insecurities that pop up when I am not feeling wonderful, but I, for the most part, just don't care anymore. Every last person I love could turn their backs on me and I would still be okay, I would be hurt monumentally, but I would not be as devastated as I would have been even a year ago. Why? Because there is someone who will never turn His back on me...ever. And I get it...

All of the exciting and big changes happened when Jesus ceased being the smiling character in Sunday School stories and became real to me. This didn't happen overnight, and it was not a painfree experience, but it has been so worth it.

So, I realize this post is very scrambled, it is late, and I am pretty tired, so I shall leave you now...

No Cookies in the Library - Classic Sesame Street

I am torn between sympathizing with the Library Guy and feeling bad for my beloved Cookie Monster... But yes, we do have customers like that!

I Wanna Marry Frankenstein...

Well... Kind of...

Yesterday, Morning Service was talking about how the men need to be MEN. It was really interesting although, I will admit that I don't remember much of the actual sermon, just the generalness of it.

But, I was thinking about how I never really had a positive male role model as a father figure in my life, and I was reflecting on how everyone says that women look for their father in their future spouse, and I REFUSE to do that. But then I was realizing that there are men who I know embody the qualities I want in a mate. So I decided to put them together into a list... Some of the characteristics apply to more than one man...

Then I was thinking about my LIST...yes THE list... the ones we wrote at the Purity Retreat a million years ago. I realized that I have changed sooo much since then, and I know that what I am looking for in a future husband has too. So I decided that I would reflect here on some of the things I see in my positive male role model relationships (without names of course)

1) A man of integrity who isn't ashamed about serving the Lord and honestly tries to live his life with integrity. A man who lives up to what he says is right. A man who refuses to compromise his beliefs, even when to do so would make life easier.

2) A man who honestly cares about others, often putting them first. Who will sow into the lives of others on a regulkar basis. A selfless man. I learn this from a man who on many occasions has made me feel like a princess, and helps me to realize that I am a princess, a child of the Most High King.

3) A man who welcomes people into his family and treats them as such while they are in his home.

4) A man who is fun loving and romantic. I cannot in anyway see myself married to a dour old stiff necked crankypants. A man who is not afraid to show his romantic side and who will put me, as his wife, second on his priority list... Right after Jesus...

5) A man who loves to study and learn. Who relishes the Word and all that we can hope to glean from it. A man who takes his ministry, whatever it may be, and makes it all about Jesus.

6) A man of strength and Courage, but who acknowledges that all of his strength is God given. Who when facing adversity will stand ready for battle. But at the same time knows it is okay to retreat to safety in order to gather strength.

7) A Man who is masculine, yet gentle spirited.

8) A man who loves his children, and likes to be with them and play with them. And is open to adoption...


These are all things that are really important to me, the other stuff is just window dressing... I have some really specific stuff (like I would like him to wear glasses...cuz that is hot... LOL!) but really these are the key essential things that need to be in the man that I marry

Wrestling...Kind of Like Jacob...

So...

Today has been a rough day and I feel raw around the edges.

I woke up and was okay and then about an hour after Stacee left I just started sobbing uncontrollably. And I couldn't pinpoint why. I know that I have been begging God to do a work in me, but I didn't really expect it to be this way...

At first, I thought maybe my mediction is messing with my emotions and such, but I looked up the side effects and while a lot of my feeling blah lately is probably a side effect, the emotional weirdness wasn't one of the reasons.

So I talked to Sarah for a while and that helped a lot, and after I stopped talking to her I decided that I just needed some hard core Jesus time.

God often uses weird things to work in my life and today it has been a lot of them at once. Or, to be more accurate, I have realized it all today.

The other day I read a book called The Shack, it is about a guy who spends his weekend with The Trinity in a shack, and the story is super hardcore, but as soon as I picked it up I knew that God was going to use it to speak to me. There is an interesting coincidence between me and the book that will just make this post longer if I try to explain it, but I knew I needed to read it. So I did. And I really don't want to mess the book up for anyone so I can't tell you how, but there is a scene that had me weeping and laughing at the same time, and this was different from my usual expressions of emotion while reading, this, I knew was from God.

So, this experience has left me more sensitive to God whispers lately and today they just all came together.

I have felt horrible basically all day, I had a bunch of the horrible side effects mess with me and consequently I have spent all day in bed. And then the mini nervous breakdown this morning didn't help. But around 3:30 I made the decision to stay home from work, I could barely get out of bed, let alone help people in a cheerful and friendly manner. So I went back to sleep.

I woke up and went on myspace, where Alexis posted a bulletin telling you to read the story about the broken pitcher. And although I already knew I am broken but pieced back together in Christ it was a renewed revelation for me today. Also, I was reminded of two key things...

1) Not so long ago I was concerned that I was too numb, emotionally, spiritually whatever, and so I prayed for God to make me able to feel again. Today I realized that he has answered that prayer in abundance over the past few months...

2) Speaking of the past few months... I have been in some hardcore pain since Nov. 30th that is over six months. My back pain started the day my grandmother died and I have not had a single day free of pain since then. I have prayed and prayed for healing, and I am still waiting, I know that God is using my pain to work things in my life, amd I have embraced that I am becoming a better person for my pain, but it still is past the point where it is getting old. Today I was reading a blog where the woman discussed how Jacob had to wrestle with God and wouldn't let him go until God blessed him. I was like aww I remember Jacob from Sunday School, about this time I went back to sleep. (I have been asleep for probably 40 or so hours out of the last 2 days) and so when I woke up I remebered something about Jacob. His hip was injured by God when they were wrestling. My back pain manifests itself as a sharp horrible burning stab through my hip and into my knee. The similarity of the hip pain made me look up the story once again. Jacob was being prepared for a work of God and so am I. I am not gonna quit wrestling until I get a blessing as well...

The entire post probably makes little sense I am sorry, but this one is mostly for me folks...

Norway and Denmark

This is the last bit of Itinerary Posting I have to do and it may be a bit long because it is a whole week....

Day 13
Today we begin our Norwegian adventure. (Yay Norway!) We cross the border from Sweden and make our way towards Elverum.(Sounds like an Elvish kingdom!) En-route, we pass by Lake Vanern, Sweden's largest inland sea. (B,D)

Day 14
A big day of scenery and sights today. First, we stop in the Olympic town of Lillehammer with its perfect lakeside location and hilltop ski jump. Then onto Lom, a small town well known for its stave church and finally to Geiranger. Why not take a cruise on the Geiranger Fjord, the second largest in Norway? (B,D)

Day 15
Another memorable scenery day with stops in Skei, Sognefjord (largest fjord in Norway) and Flam before arriving at our destination, Voss. Why not make the most of the amazing photo opportunities with a ride on the famous Flam railway? (B,D)

Day 16
A free day to explore this beautiful region. Relax and enjoy the scenery, explore Voss town centre, or take the chance to do adventure activities such as white water rafting. (B) (at some point I will be consuming massive amounts of the yummy waffles with berries! I will prolly eat them everyday I am in Norway!!! I do love them so!)

Day 17
A day of rugged scenery as we travel through the Telemark region and across the Hardangervidda to the capital of Norway, Oslo. (B)

Day 18
Free time in Oslo today before boarding our overnight ferry to Denmark. Seek out Edvard Munch's most famous painting, The Scream, visit the Kon-Tiki museum (museum of some guys travels, that looks kind of cool!)or stroll along the pedestrian mall with the locals. (B)

Day 19
After our sightseeing tour this morning, time to explore this cosmopolitan capital. Everything from Lego to the Little Mermaid to majestic palaces can be found in Copenhagen. Maybe even spot a member of the Royal family browsing the stores in the city centre! (B,D)

Day 20 (August 11)
Time to swap addresses and say farewell to your new-found friends as your tour ends after breakfast. (B) (6pm LA time I should be arriving! But my body will think it is 5 am the next day...ahh Jet Lag!)

Included Stuff:
Elverum: Scenic drive through unspoilt forests and lakes, known for bears, moose and wolves; Stay in this beautiful riverside town ( I wanna see a moose!)

Lillehammer: Visit the 1994 Winter Olympics town and see the ski jump.

Lom: See one of the few remaining medieval stave churches in Norway (Yay for Medieval things!)

Geiranger: See the stunning Geiranger Fjord.; Photo stop at the most scenic spot in Scandinavia.

Skei: See the incredible Boyabreen glacier (yay for glaciers!)

Sognefjord: See the longest and most spectacular fjord in Norway.

Laerdal: Drive through the world's longest road tunnel - an engineering marvel.

Flam: Scenic drive along the Aurlandsfjord.

Voss: Explore the natural surroundings which make the town famous for extreme sports

Hardangervidda: Scenic drive through the Telemark region, famous as the area in World War II for the destruction of the heavy water plant.; Visit Europe's largest mountain plateau, home to the Telemark Ski.

Oslo: Visit Frogner Park to see the Vigeland sculptures; See the Holmenkollen ski
jump; See the City Hall and Parliament

Copenhagen: See the Little Mermaid, the Resistance Museum and the Royal Palace.

Optional Extras!

Geiranger
Geiranger Fjord Cruise (110.00 Norwegian Krone) ($22)
Join us on a cruise which travel books say is not to be missed! We cruise along the fjord taking in the magnificence and beauty of waterfalls and age-old mountains. The cruise includes English commentary and is sure to be one of the highlights of your tour. (Will be doing this!)

Flam
Flam Railway (300.00 Norwegian Krone) ($58)
This train trip provides some of Norway's wildest and most magnificent scenery - taking in rivers that cut through deep ravines, amazing waterfalls and snow-capped mountains while travelling on one of the world's steepest railways. (Probably do this!)

Voss
White Water Rafting (720.00 Norwegian Krone) ($140)
Experience the thrills of white water rafting in the most picturesque setting imaginable! You'll travel through rapids in the company of your tour mates and a highly professional rafting team. Full equipment (including safety helmets and wet suits) is included in the cost. (Subject to weather conditions). (Probably won't do this just because the water will be freezing!)

Oslo
Holmenkollen Ski Jump (60.00 Norwegian Krone) ($12)
Take advantage of the group entrance rate and climb the ski tower of the highest ski jump in the world. The first ski jump on this site was built in 1892 and was made famous in the 1952 Winter Olympic Games. The price includes entry into the ski museum which explains the history of skiing - a sport that was invented in Norway!
(There is an ongoing joke with Denise that I would pay the $12 not to have to climb to the top of this thing...)

Copenhagen
Carlsberg Brewery (45.00 Danish Krone) ($10)
Your chance to taste Denmark's most famous beer at the brewery where it's made. The Jacobsen Brewhouse is an exhibition of beer culture and classic brewing skills comprising interactive displays, special effects, stables with famous Jutland horses and the world's largest collection of bottles. At the end of the visit enjoy your included beer in the bar with panoramic views of the shining copper beer kettles where Carlsberg's special beers are brewed. (Probably skip although I know some people who would be jealous of me going here!)

Finland and Sweden

By posting this, I not only get to share my excitement, but I also can find my info wherever I am...


Day 8
Today we farewell the former Soviet Union, making a short stop in the medieval city of Vyborg, before entering Finland. We travel through pine forests and reindeer sanctuaries to the quirky capital, Helsinki. (B,D) (Nokia phones come from Finland)

Day 9
Helsinki is an interesting mix between Finnish, Swedish and Russian ideals, having been occupied by its neighbours for a large portion of its history. Shop along main street Mannerheim, visit the Olympic stadium or maybe take the Hydrofoil across to Estonia's capital, Tallinn. (I am so taking the hydrofoil!)(B)

Day 10
More free time in Helsinki this morning before we board our luxurious overnight ferry to Stockholm. Chill out on the upper deck and watch the sun set over Finland as we sail away, shop on the Promenade deck or be pampered in the onboard leisure centre. (B)

Days 11&12
Two full days in Stockholm and plenty to do! Wander the narrow streets of Gamla Stan (the old town), visit the Royal Palace and see the changing of the guards. Maybe visit the Vasa or Skansen museums. (B,D)(B)

Included tours and such:

Vyborg: Orientation of the town

Helsinki: See the Sibelius Monument, the Olympic Stadium and Senate Square; Visit the 'Church of the Rock'

Stockholm: See Gamla Stan (the old town) and the changing of the guard at the Royal Palace

Optionals:

Helsinki
Day Trip to Tallinn (Euro 42.00) ($65)
Add another country to your trip by catching a hydrofoil to Tallinn - the capital of Estonia. Wander the cobbled streets of the old town which has been dramatically rebuilt since the fall of the USSR. (ordinarily, I wouldn't spend so much on a boat trip, but if it means I get to add a country to my list, then I am pretty much okay with it...)

Stockholm
Tour Of The Town Hall (60.00 Swedish Krone) ($10)
Visit one of the most outstanding examples of modern architecture in Europe. The town hall was completed in 1923 and is the venue every year for the Nobel Prize banquet. A local guide will explain the various styles of architecture which make this building so unique, including the room containing 19 million gold mosaic tiles. (This doesn't sound so great or so terrible, if I think I will be bored then I'll do it, otherwise I might do some exploring on my own)

Stockholm Dinner (325.00 Swedish Krone) (Roughly $55)
Join your travel companions and sample a traditional Swedish meal in a funky restaurant in the heart of the city. A tempting array of local specialties awaits. (That is a LOT for a meal I might not even eat much of.... I'll probably pass unless someone gives me a good reason to go)

The last stretch of my trip is Norway and Denmark with most of it being in Norway. I am especially excited to go to Norway because when I went to Epcot, the Norway Pavillion was oNe of my favorites!!! I also like the Norwegian House of Pacific Relations whatever at Balboa Park, although the lady at the Finland One is more welcoming... I am kind of excited to go to Denmark because I am part Danish, although not much I am sure....