Extension

So, due to insanely busy schedules, I have extended the timeon my decorate Stacey's door contest.

You now have until March 5th to get your entries in. I have a couple already, but would love to see more.

Remember, the prize for the best is a ticket to the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach.

Gifts?

So, last night we took spiritual gift assessment surveys in youth. I was slightly surprised by my results, so I came home and took a different one.

The results were basically the same, so I guess it was right.

Faith
Mercy
Service
Giving
Knowledge
Exhortation
Administration

are apparently my strong points. Some of those feel wrong, or at the very least I don't recognize them in myself.

I could have pinpointed that the gifts in which I show less strength were Prophecy and Evangelism. I know we are supposed todesire the gift of prophecy so that we can edify the body, and on some level I do, but I know that because I am uncomfortable speaking out, that it will be a gift which will be used in me rarely, if ever.

They are great gifts, but I know they aren't ones with which I am overly enabled.

<3

I'll be honest, I never expected to have women's retreat end up the way it did.

I thought I was gonna go, kick it, get some scrapbooking done, see the magna carta and come home.

I love that I serve a God who loves to exceed my expectations on a regular basis.

I also happen to greatly dislike it, but in the petulant I know I need to just suck it up and deal type of way.

I love that I am loved beyond my wildest imagination by the Creator of the Universe.

I love that He meets me where I am.

I love that he uses the extreme to get our attentions and then speaks to us.

I just Love Him.

A word

Psalm 27
A psalm of David.
1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—
so why should I be afraid?
The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
so why should I tremble?
2 When evil people come to devour me,
when my enemies and foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
3 Though a mighty army surrounds me,
my heart will not be afraid.
Even if I am attacked,
I will remain confident.
4 The one thing I ask of the Lord—
the thing I seek most—
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
delighting in the Lord’s perfections
and meditating in his Temple.
5 For he will conceal me there when troubles come;
he will hide me in his sanctuary.
He will place me out of reach on a high rock.
6 Then I will hold my head high
above my enemies who surround me.
At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy,
singing and praising the Lord with music.

7 Hear me as I pray, O Lord.
Be merciful and answer me!
8 My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”
9 Do not turn your back on me.
Do not reject your servant in anger.
You have always been my helper.
Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me,
O God of my salvation!
10 Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord will hold me close.

11 Teach me how to live, O Lord.
Lead me along the right path,
for my enemies are waiting for me.
12 Do not let me fall into their hands.
For they accuse me of things I’ve never done;
with every breath they threaten me with violence.
13 Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.

14 Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

The Retreat so far...

SO as I am writing this I am in a room of dear, dear women who are playing highly competetive Bunco games. I just finishhed working on my scrapbook and have finished my trip through stockholm although I really want to redo my LinnaMuseet page.

I want to write this stuff down before it gets fuzzy.

Last night, our speaker Candace spoke about how she felt God was telling her that there were women iint he room who desperately needed to hear from him as their father. She also talked about how she asked God for a tangible expression of His love for her.

As she was telling us about the women needing to hear from God she said point blank that if we didn't come up, she was coming to us. I froze. Could I hope that God wanted to tell me that I was His precious princess? Was I brave enough to go up and hope that I wouldn't go up and pray and have God overlook me? I stayed in my seat. I knew if I went up, and then God didn't have a word for me, I would be devastated. I also knew that I just couldn't cope with that. So, she ends up going around the room praying with and for people and telling them what she believes the Holy Spirit is telling her to. I was going to leave because I couldn't handle the stress of waiting. But I determined that if God overlooked me, I would deal, but it would hurt. Just as I am about to give up, I feel hands on my shoulders. And this woman sits next to me and 3 things happen simultaneously.
1. She tells me that God wants me to know I am beautiful and precious and all those things that every little girl needs to hear from her daddy. And she holds my face in her hands and while this A freaks me out, it also gets my attention. I often feel untouchable, even though I know that there are people who don't consider me that way, but know that I in general don't like to be touched, so they never touch me. But there are times when I could used a good quality hug, or a hand on my shoulder, and since this is something that is lacking in my life, it gets my attention when someone does touch me.
2.She told me that God wanted me to know that his love was not dependent upon my acheivements. I think that I needed to hear this, but didn't know it last night. I often worry about His love being dependant upon my actions.
3. I have forgotten the third thing, but I think that that may be because I am not supposed to share it. And I'll remember it as soon as I am done blogging.

Today during worship one of the dear women from my church came and prayed over me and spoke into my life. WoW! Things she told me were total confirmations of things God has been telling me for awhile, but I've been far too stubborn to admit to. I hate to say this, but once again my life plans may be changing, but I don't know by how much. What I do know is that I have to follow the call God has placed upon my life. Even if I try to run, He will find me like Jonah, and I would really like to avoid being swallowed and barfed up by a big fish.

I do know that I can't not do what God is calling me to...

I know I am being vague, and I just told Nicky and Denise this two minutes ago. But Prayer as I branch into a new identity is always appreciated.

In my defense...

I wasn't kept up by my research, the topics were genuinely interesting to me (at least this morning)

Is it weird that these seemingly morbid topics don't freak me out. I think it is interesting to see how society and its values have changed over time. Did you now that right now no one in CA can be executed because it was ruled that the lethal injections must be administered by a licensed medical practitioner, and they are ethically prohibited from performing executions, so those on death row will just be stuck there until someone finds a way to resolve the situation.

If you are against capital punishment, this could be a good thing, if you are for it, you might feel differently.

I kind of find some weird things interesting. Did you know that if I didn't study Russian history I would either study the history of epidemics or criminal history, I have a few books that look at execution methods, and I think it is interesting. It always makes me sad because I am in general not one who likes to see people killed, but I still find it fascinating.

OK I guess I am weird. Whatever.

I am excited for the whole retreat thing this weekend, and I am taking my melatonin with me for my roomates sake!

zzzzz

So, I have been up for several hours now, since about 2:45am and I am pretty tired of being awake all night.

So far this evening, I have researched all of the following on wikipedia:

The Munich Olympics Terrorist Attack
Terrorist Attacks in the US
Hostage Events Worldwide
Russian Theater Attack
Poisons
The Amish School Shooting
Famous Prisoners in the US
Capital Punishment and Prisons in California
Burning at the Stake
Tunica Molesta
Joan of Arc
Elizabeth Bathory
Paul Muni (who is Ukrainian! Ha Dr. Stricker!)
The Film Black Fury
Robert Downey Jr.
Tropic Thunder
Executions in the state of California

I have also looked online to see if I could find any info about my grandfather or any other long lost family member.

I am now going to attempt to sleep even though I have to wake up in about an hour anyways...

Grrr...