I might be going to sleep early tonight

So I'll blog now

I am going to house sit for my cousins in a few weeks and that should be fun.

I am struggling with expressing myself lately. Lastnight because I was sooooo tired and today because I am overwhelmed with things right now.

Last Sat. I realized that I will be graduating in about a year and then heading off to grad school, and I realized that life is moving so fast. I feel like I have been waiting forever to get to this point and now I just want to put on the brakes and say "WAIT!!! I'm not ready!"

But at the same time I am soooo excited! I think a lot of it is that I am afraid that these big changes will be more than I can handle or that I am going to do all of this work and have it not be the "right" thing that I am supposed to do.

I am torn betwenn doing what makes me happy and what everyone expects me to do.
I worry that by pursuing what I enjoy that I am going against the plans that God has for me. I worry that I am listening to my flesh and not the Holy Spirit.

And at the same time, I know that I can't let fear paralyze me.

Of all the times I've prayed for a giant neon arrow, right now I'd take even a dusty sign post...