today...today

I managed to avoid being called into work today. I realize that declaring this so early in the morning is tempting the postal gods, but I also know that as of about a half hour ago, all was well in postal land.

I am going to work on getting my house cleaned.
I am going to run into Silverdale to return some clothes my aunt got me for Christmas, they are cute, but too big. Maybe they'll have the same clothes in a smaller size.
I am going to hit up Target while in Silverdale to see if there are any biscotti left. These will be for the workplace stash, not so much for me to eat one just because I have enough available carbs with my meal hahaha (or in the shower for breakfast, which I may have done the other day *ahem* go ahead, judge me, I already am.
Since my next paycheck is big enough for me to pay my medical bills and save a huge chunk of next months rent, I may head into town to see a movie (still haven't seen The Hobbit :/), if I get enough house cleaning done.

I have found that my chips and dip meals have been helping with my nacho cravings although they really aren't the same. But my tostitos end up being 18 carbs and then there are 15 or so carbs in the dip. And although using food as a reward is usually an awful idea. When I lose 1.3 more lbs I am going into Bremerton for a Bean and Cheese Burrito from Juanitos. 1.3! Anyone who was with me for the last great food reward (the hooray I don't weigh 300 lbs anymore Cheese-on-a-stick) has some clue of just how motivated getting to eat something I should not eat frequently but adore motivates me. On that note, I have not been able to locate a cheese on a stick source up here. And yes, I have a craving. I really don't want standard mall food to be something I have to source next time I am in California, but if I cant find one up here soon, it may have to go on the list, right below El Pollo Inka and Empanadas, and pizza, and... and... and.... *sighs* I miss my friends, of course, AND there is good food up here, but a large part of my homesickness is the familiar foods...

My mental state is fragile but intact today. I know getting a large quantity of sleep helped. Am hoping that getting my environment cleared will help some more. Am probably taking down my Christmas decor today. I never really turned on the tree this year, and am not a hundred percent sure why I bothered decorating just for myself, but I do like Christmas (still my favorite holiday, even though I work where I do) So I think it is okay for me to have put up the tree and lights and such, even if it was just for myself. I have a hard time convincing myself I am worth the effort of things, but really, I am working on that.