ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I am pretty tired, since I did not get much sleep last night. Had a pretty bad panic attack and ended up awake most of the night. Had a few more panic attacks today too. :( Decided to go ahead and ask my doctor since I had to email him about something else, we shall see what he recommends whenever he gets a chance to respond to my email.

I did have a better day at work today. Still haven't finished the route on my own, but I did accomplish three of my goals which was not to roll any mail, not to be the last person out, and to not be the last person back in. I didn't bring back any parcels, but the person they sent out to help me did. :/ But I am slowly feeling more confident. The beginning part of the route is still taking me longer than I would like, but I WILL figure out why eventually. I am not dawdling, or doing anything crazy, or getting lost, but that part of the route takes the regular carrier maybe an hour and a half and it took me almost 2 hours today. The rest of the route moves pretty fast (unless there are a lot of parcels). But I still haven't had the opportunity to deliver to the end and I really need to see the end in daylight. It is dark out there and I have to pull up these long driveways to get to these banks of boxes, and in the dark I have no clue which driveways to pull in, so I either miss them or pull into ones I don't have to. :/

I picked up some stuff for lunches/dinners although the meal I purchased from the deli for dinner tonight was disgusting so I tossed it. I ended up having green beans and chicken cordon bleu. 16 carbs total and a 8 carb ice cream bar, so 24 all together. I think I am going to stock up on the cordon bleu and green beans, it took three whole minutes to cook and was really good. Won't eat it every night but good to have for when I am tired and don't want to do fast food.

I seriously am heading to bed now. Hopefully I can get some sleep, because tomorrow is Amazon day.